zondag, maart 05, 2006


I would like one day to be able to expess in "words" all that people are not able to understand about me.
I'm not perfect... thank God for that...
"Words" can be complicated once you are trying to let a message out that you would like to be as clear as water.

In the mean while, I came to the conclusion that I am who I am!
I don't want to be more ashamed of it!
That the "criticism" that needs to be done towards me be done, and that at the right moment, be understood!

I could be someone that people would call "stuborn" but for me goes further than than. It's all a question of "words".
I saw that I am more than that! I saw that I am a conqueror, the one who fights for what she wants! At least I know what I want...
And possibly the whole world will be against me but... I'm not afraid, and only I have the power of choice for myself!

I wanna be happy... and I will be happy!
If it isn't in this life it will be in the next. I will keep fighting till I die! And one day I will find my well being... MY TRUE SELF!!

I've had my share of pain in this life - Choice? Only I know the answer..
But I also know that I had exceptional good things too:
1. My children, who are Gods blessing in my life. 'Cause even thought I think i'm a bad mother, I have God to show me that I deserve them, because I still have them next to me: LOVING ME!!!
2. To my sister... my best friend. Even though I sometimes don't have the courage to tell her the whole truth, I know that I do it out of love for her and surely respect!
3.To my parents: because I've chosen them! I love them!
To my mother by showing through her "deads" was able to show me that I could be different and that there was nothing wrong in it!
To my dad who has shown me that, that though circumstances in life aren't always what we would like, never to give up and fight with all the strength in the world for what we believe: have a personality!!!
4. To my grandmother who always gives me strength and never forgets me: fenomenaal!!!
5. To Maura who I believe was angel send from heaven to me me so that she could show me that I am special: the queen of my world! My gratitude for her in endless!!
6. Last but not least, to NICO that though he is not the person that people would like him to be, he still was the person who made me who I am today. Nobody is perfect and that is the big thing when we love somebody; you can see through it all!!! That's why "words' loose their meaning at the end, because by being exposed to the most suberb feeling that we call LOVE there are no words that can express the whole of it!

To choose loving someone is complicated. And it is so because we choose not to be one, but TWO becoming one. And it isn't easy for everybody to accept that we could be more than we already are, without loosing the real WE: difficult!
There are so many choices that people would like to understand. But just like "words", "love" can't be explained!

My love expressed here, today, and specially to all the people I have mentioned above is just because I do "feel" what I say. Just "letters" upon "letters" where each one will take his own conclusion: it's private!!

I don't pretend will all this "written" explain anything but to myself. Does all of this makes any sense? To me... surely... It doesn't reall matter...

My love will always be here in every act or "word".


Geen opmerkingen: